well howdy y'all, here I am, finally. been a while eh? things haven't been going so great around here lately - I've been busy... which no, that's not bad. I also went out of town... that wasn't bad either -- in fact, that was great -- i had a great time, i had zero problems on my travels, and it was great to get my baby love and see my family. so... nope, not bad at all. so, what is so bad? hmmm... well not so much really. except i did get some news that threw me for loop. I wasn't ready for news like this again, so soon. so - I've been trying to fill up my calendar and stay busy, rather than sit around the house and be angry or sad. it seems the feelings are leaning more towards anger. i think it's just too easy to be sad. i don't know. but another friend of mine has cancer. motherfuckinfrickindamncancer. she was diagnosed and already had two chemo treatments just since before i left for Chicago and got back - and me being told. crazy, isn't isn't it? breast cancer. both breasts. why not lop those fuckers off? I would. she hasn't yet. i want to ask, but i just can't ask THAT question. and NO. i would not word it that way. or use that tone. but i am pissed, and i do wonder. why hasn't she had the surgery yet??? aaaaaaaaand ---- why in the hell is it that Almost every time I allow myself to say the F word (Friend) -- something like this happens?
yep -- rhetorical questions. all rhetorical.
nevermind.
but anyhow..... i told a couple folks that if i didn't post today that i would let them stone me. this was what fell out of me mouth. sorry it wasn't better. maybe i can do better tomorrow.
y'all sleep well, and have happy days tomorrow
gnitey
Cancer is awful. Lost most of my family to it and a lot of friends and even fought it myself. Illness period is not fun to go through with anyone. Strangely, it does teach us lessons. Illness and terminal illnesses have taught me who really matters in life, what matters in life, what not to do in life, and to deal with life. It sucks but life is basically suffering and we can choose how we look at it and deal with it. Life is so unfair.
ReplyDeletehiya Kristy-- i agree. and i know you went through that stuff. i went through it too. a couple times. and also have lost family and friends to it. i get so mad. just the word pisses off. cancer-and chemo. i actually think i get more angry at chemo and big pharma than cancer itself. chemo, and its false hope. it helps no one. "it prolongs life". yes sure-- it prolongs life---- a life of pure hell. sickness and misery. i have been in some serious debates lately about chemo. saying that personally, I don't trust it, and wouldn't touch it! my family gets MAD. they say that's selfish, etc. i would rather get the most out of what's left of my life - than spend it withering away - puking and in pain. i have already spent the last twenty plus years sick and in pain. i will at least die with a little dignity -- IF i have any control over it. ugh. rant over.
DeleteHello Old Friend ---
ReplyDeleteI have tried to get it ouch with you a couple of times, but I no longer have a valid email address for you, and of course the last time I had your phone number -- was many phones ago. I called the last number and it was no longer yours. So, I am trying this again --- I have left a comment here before but no reply. I still have the same email address as always --- sarahjjj@yahoo.com if you want to write.I hope you're doing well - I think about you alot. XO Jamie